The Thank You Note
You've probably received many expressions of caring from friends, neighbors,
co-workers and acquaintances during your time of grief. Writing thank you notes after
the funeral may feel like an overwhelming task, but consider the following:
It is not required that you write thank you notes to everyone who attended the
funeral or visitation. However, notes are generally sent to those who provided
additional gestures of caring such as sending flowers, making donations to a charity or
organization, providing food, answering telephone calls, helping organize paperwork,
babysitting, arranging transportation for visitors or any other offerings of support.
It is also customary to send thank you notes to those who participated in the
funeral service such as pallbearers and the clergy.
Thank you notes are generally handwritten and mailed within a few weeks of the
funeral service. They can be written on note-size stationery with matching envelopes.
(French has this stationery available.) If you're feeling overwhelmed during this time,
ask family or friends to help you. A single note may be written on behalf of the entire
family and signed "The Smith Family" or with something similar.
Thank you notes do not have to be long. A few sentences expressing your
sentiments are the only requirement. Consider the following examples of appreciation:
- "Your sympathy in our recent loss will long be remembered. Thank you for all
you did during that time."
- "Your sympathy helped all of us through this sad time. Thank you for your kind
letter."
- "Thank you for the beautiful flowers that expressed your sympathy during this
difficult time."
Additional expressions of appreciation can include how much their presence at the
funeral service meant to you and your family. If they are especially close, you can
mention how much it has always meant to have them share in both the good and bad
times.
Thank you notes can seem like one more burden or chore that simply must be
completed after the funeral of a loved one. If that's true for you, take whatever time you
need before writing your notes and let others help you.